Saturday, January 5, 2008


This is what i call lame. Smell of sweet raw coffee at The Coffee Bean.... FLASHBACK... FLASHBACK..... (not because of the coffee.. i love the smell of coffee. Don't get me wrong. But the incident that happen last year was a nightmare that i don't want to be in anymore..) I am feeling queasy!!! Darn it. Forgive and Forget??? Forgive yeah.. Forget not!!!! I guess that's why i forget easily. Too many painful moment in my life during my upbringing, though balance jua with joy, but the pain need to go, my brain can't carry or rather i would say i don't want rubbish in my memory otherwise it would have corrupted my mind and i can no longer think. Can you imagine me not talking anymore?? huhu.... I drained it out long time ago, au my own language ah.. kalau paham, good. Kalau inda jangan tah di pikirkan.

Still need filtration, need a good blood running through my circulation in my veins and all the cells and organs i have in my body. Gosh!! A massive alteration needed to be done soon or otherwise i will fall to those crap emotional trap. I always forgive in order to move on. Yes lah.. we must forgive no matter how bad situation it is. Forget not, but let it be a lesson learned. That is important to be wise. Think long term. Not short term. But its up to you eh...

I hate flashback. If its good, i smile joyfully, but if its not, then i play my mind with the combination of the advantage and disadvantage of that moment. Cool.. I have said it. I am having my Ice Blended Coffee with cream at The Coffee Bean Bandar. I am still reading The Historian. Reaching to chapter 28. I know, i read slow. Elizabeth Kostova wrote it beautifully with creative writings. Amazing. It makes me see more on expressing and combining words to makes a beautiful sentences and appreciate it. Oh well, inda ku pandai kan express it with complicated words.

Anyhew, i got to go to work at 12am today until 3am. Yes double shift today. Tomorrow attending Dj Ameera's wedding. Yeah.. finally attending a wedding. Looking forward eh. Ok need to go dulu. I am calm now.. Need to focus on other things lagi. Well, i know i don't feel comfortable but what to do.. Its not because i am scared (like someone told me to face it), but imagine if that person were to be in my shoes. Being in public and all. There goes my broken heart. Well at the end it all come to same like others!!!!

Forgive me if i feel this way... I am through with it. Chill!!!

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