OKAY

I am ok but somehow i am feeling lousy. I dont know why, hard to explain. Just met a few girlfriends and they were telling me stories about what they seen last time. Very dissapointing eh. Friends catu lah we have. Why not share new stories ka? Like i haven't seen anything but why would i want to share the past. When flashback menghantui my mind, i tell you i feel like vomitting. Seriously, i am really really sick.

Why ler.... Me ani pun satu jua, i said ok. But i didnt know apa they wanted to share atu. Hah.... nda lain nda bukan, when someone close to you do stupid things. Things like that lama betahan in their head, things good nada nampak toh. Perhaps until kan m**i pun di otak tu.... Yang siok lain, yang mendengar sakit hati. S***.... darn jua ya sometimes. Next time gals if you dont have anything to talk about, just talk about perkembangan your life to me. You and your boyfriends kah... he.he.... Gerenti my friends ketawa ni. Ketawa kan dorang me ani.

Apa lah.. never mind. I wish i know what my life going to be ah.. i wish all the test i have in life i pass it.... i wish i dont have to go through it...... Sounds familiar? Well... semua jua orang have that kind of feelings, but sekiranya tah like that, no one be matang loh dalam hidup ani kan. Problems are worth fighting for to make new you. But to add problems to yang banyak sudah problem, that i dont know lah.

Hey i heard kan, yea this is the story. This guy anak orang berada jua lah, he see all the gals he is fooling with using different cars. He makes lots of excuses lah... ani lah... atu lah.... and yet everybody knows he is cheating. Even the girlfriend knows he is cheating. How's that? And you know what, his house got so many cars, and he just used different cars to see all this different girls. Possible ka tu?

The girlfriend of this guy i know very well jua lah. Pity her when my friends talk about it tadi. Like familiar saja. This guy, well everybody wants him.. entah for what i dont know. But he is wanted among all the young girls here. And all the young girls knows he loves fooling around with young girls.... Amazing kan... Not only the girls lah, the guys pun tau jua about him. His weakness... so some you know who, even offer him girls... Ha..a.h.... Wah so like that ah...

Apa lagi, my girlfriends ani, macam tah boyfriend dorang atu steady banar, they cant stop talking about him. Lah... i just keep quiet saja. It hurts eh just to hear it. Sounds familiar. Not my bussiness and myself pun never got lucky. I guess what would you do if you are caught in that situation? Should you do the same thing or just be innocent?

I cant keep it alone. Gatal rasa hati ku kan cerita here. How about you? Habis habis about young girls with older man. Last night i chat with quite a few people, and one chatter ask me what i am going to do with tonight segmen Jatoh Cinta? I told this chatterz i have no idea yet. I ask what would be a good topic? Inda lain its just so common topic nya i think, "what do you think of bercinta dengan orang yang jauh usia from you?". Well i thought about oldman with young girls. But you know what the chatterz mean, a young boy, or a young man bercinta with older woman? Nah.. what happen here?????? Loh... apa dah jadi. Bangang me oleh nya. Possible kan tu?

Being a woman, after married, well your body inda kan sama when you are single. But being a man, you body will be the same if you maintain it. But ya lah, if the man is 10 years or 20 years younger, how would you feel about it? And what would that young man have in his mind??? Au, i understand bout Demi Moore. But she ubahsuai jua kali ah top to toe bah... and she is rich too. She can to anything with herself. But yang biasa biasa ani bah, does it exist ka? Or is it just what...

I never want to have a man yang fooling around. But then if that is the attitude he have, i cant control that. I loose respect. I will let it be. I know it hurts, but what how can i do when he himself dont see it all that its wrong. Love is in different level.. Love is there, but the respect and trust are gone. Just floating saja. However strong the foundation you make kan, once not balance, well hard to put it back together.

This is what happen to me if i see the flashback.... i hate it but i like it. It stablized my thinking. I dont know how it works, but its working. Making me inda putus asa and i will still fight to what i really want in my life. I dont see it as making anyone happy, but at least i am happy. That the far most important to me now.