Monday, January 14, 2008

Mirror bah.. banar tah my maid atu, i said get the mirror di atas and bring it down. You know apa nya? Mirror???? lah my son umor 9 tahun lagi tau wat mirror is... Ya Rabbi... kalah ku eh... So i have to show sample what mirror and then only she said "ah... YES mirror"... bah, jadi eh.

That can you imagine, how i talk to my maid everyday? No i don't!!! I only talk to her if i want her to wash one or two of my baju. That i give her a 'B' lah. Not bad. Walaupun dont communicate well, but keraja mencuci baju ok. Sterika apa tah lagi, 'B' jua me kasi ia....

Today at work now. Well, just music as usual but you know what, ada nama "kugik" - so i think i pronounce it not right tadi. I pronounce it KU - GIK (gig) ... which is salah. Patutnya rupanya KO-JAK... lah pandai lah orang atu jua. Ia spell jua catu.. ah... Nda tau sapa salah there.

Early morning, i took my shower bah, i was still thinking about men and woman. Au... caya you. Kan i told you about me not being lucky all the time in love ani, so i think because after a while, if terlalu go through bad times, i actually just leave it catu lah. Care not care, inda jua, sayang tetap sayang, but when i think i cant control the situation, which i will never can do, i let it be.

You tell me the truth or you lie to me, i cant see the difference anymore. To believe or not, that i could not recognize anymore. So i let it be. I dont want to think how to solve my the problem you make and layan my feeling kalau catu. I just let it be. I used to think so much, but i look like a drug addict ani bah, just because memikirkan orang punya hal. Meaning my realtionship.... but now, i put that aside, kalau ada ada. If my relationship go ok, ok lah. But catu jua lah...

I guess, i dont know ah what to call that. To me, if you want to be with me, sincerely, i believe we be bless but if you want to putar belit with me, then no berkah and its plain fooling saja. So i am pretty laid back nowdays, i know i cant change the situation, and i cant make anyone love me, or whatever.... lah macam give up tah pulang ah. No lah. I will not give up. Just not lucky ja in love ani. but lain ok lah.

I am listening to OpICK - TAKWA. Gosh tersentuh ku lagu atu. I pick some words while listening to the song...... Ya Allah Ampun kan Aku.... this is how i feel now, this saat, this minute... every single day... Its like that. I m no good in words, but from song can relate to how i feel. Its really nice, when you feeling like that everyday, and right on the dot the song came out, wah... you feel good kan... oh well, it did to me.... (every single day, when is the last for me to be in this world, deep in my heart i always minta perlindungan daripada Allah agar sempurna dunia akhirat.. Amin..)

Aku berlindung dari dosa dosa ku
Ya Allah
Kau jagai lah aku
Ya Allah
Jauh kan ku dari Kemurkaan mu
Ya Allah
Setiap hari
Setiap Detik
Hari hari ku...
Ya Allah... Selamat kan Aku...
Ya Allah
Ku tidak mengetahui ke arah mana jalan hidup ku
Ku tidak mengetahui sempurna kah hidup ku
Ku tidak tahu bila berakhir nya hidup ku
Jaga lah, Cintai lah, Selamatkan Aku...
Ya Allah..

No comments: