PUn Sia Sia

kemarin punya cerita)

Pun sia sia. I wanted to eat seafood tadi then inda jadi. Pun sia sia… just meliat poster ketam masak chili ani bah.. adoi…oh well menahan rasa. A bit frustrated. You pun tau kan rasanya cana. Sometimes when you really want to eat and didn’t have the chance, melilih bah. Cian eh rasa ku, but when I teringat orang yang makan terputik putik lagi me sedih. So whatever yang ada lah. At least makan jua. Atu satu ah.

Oh by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST BELOVED FRIEND YASMOON aka MONIQUE … RJ Pilihan FM. Sorry semalam inda ter txt, my line kena barrrrrrrr…r.r.r… Just inda sempat to pay today. Went to Miri for my dental apt. I am sure you enjoyed the small gathering last nite. Wish you all the best and a very bright, brighter than the sun in your future. And hope you will find the best soulmate ever. Amin.. Amin... Amin.. Jangan jeles… he.he..

Today I saw a few signs like reminding me to live my live today. Dream for tomorrow, and whats past a lesson learned. On the way to Bandar from Miri, the road I used to drive to heal my pain, bukan pain apa. Pain broken hearted lah.. I recorded myself singing a song for someone I really miss. What song?? Well I am just going to keep that for myself ya.. Karang ramai orang ikut merecord lagu yang sama bila sasak…he..eh… masa ani malas kan layan eh.. kalau suka kata suka kalau inda, inda payah tah. Susah saja kepala memikirkan.

Then when I pass by that road, just so intense it touch my deeper heart and I smile. Yes dalam keadaan intense catu pun I can still smile and I remember how broken hearted I was that time, the worst I ever felt in a relationship that make me realize a lot of things and from that it just …. …. ……. (atu cerita lama eh)

Anyway, I love this song “mata mu butakan hatiku, senyum mu mengoda jiwa ku, aku menyerah.. suara m uterus memangil ku, wajah mu ada di mimpi ku.. aku menyerah…. Malaikat di samping ku mengingatkan tingalkan diri mu, syaitan pun di samping ku menyuruh ku untuk bersama mu…. Ku cinta kau.. ku cinta kau… tapi kau telah ada yang memiliki…. Ku tak bisa, ku tak bisa tinggal kan mu atau bersama mu.. cinta ku berat pada mu…..”. What song?? Well I m goin to keep it until I aired it nanti. Very nice song. Just remind me how I felt sometime ago. Then again..

But you know, I need to think now. I cant layan my feeling emosional ani. Naik kepala nyamo. If layan, it be distractions that are going to lead me downhill, and all I need now to think and seriously think to avoid those distractions coming my way in order to make it in my life. Yes… true but sad for me. I have to let go with my emotional state to just mellowing it kan… I become cold ani bah.. yes banar. Now seriously, I got my son, and I am looking forward for something fruitful dis year onwards.

My son hari ani just got home, tapi damam ani bah. Well, I told him that he didn’t visit me for almost a week toh that make him like that…ha.ha..a he hug me and said I love you mommy. I miss you. I told him next time, come home at least to say hi to me..he.e… I biarkan you know, because I want him to be independent. I know… I miss him. But he is going to be a big boy, and biar layan sendiri perasaan nya. I be here to monitor him saja. He is a very good young boy.

Today we had dinner at KHAZ CONERS in Sengkurong. I must say the BUTTER MILK CHICKEN become our favourite dish. Yes Luqman loves it so much. Caya, two kali nasi bah. Biar tia. But anyway, we talk a bit. Very interesting today for him and me. Cian ja, still not well. Now he is already sleeping. He sleep at 8.30pm during school time if he stay with me.

When you tell him to sleep, tarus tu tidor. Letak ja kepala nya rah bantal, immediately tidor. Very easy to look after him when he was a baby. Yeah… letak saja , terus tidor. But make sure enough makan and minum nya. I miss those times. I would love to have at least one or two more before my times come. He love to have a brother and sister too. I told him ada sudah sisternya from ayah nya and the wife of my ‘x’ hubbykan, but he said he want to have sister or brother from tummy mommy. And he upuk upuk my tummy. Oh …sweet… if only he knew why he haven’t got sibling.. oh well…. Kanak kanak kan.

Well, I got to sleep now. – 11.40pm