Thursday, October 25, 2007

Yesterday... and the suicide

Yesterday... all the trouble seems so far away, now.. Wah.. i nyanyi-nyanyi lagi while writing ani. Yes, when i was younger, all i see was so happy ending story for my life. Want to know why i think that way? Well, my father used to take us watched a cartoon classic at bandar rah Bolkiah pangong wayang. I remember, every time tu, kalau ada saja that sort of movie on, then my dad sure bawa punya. So i see life like that. A happy ending one.

Tapi as i grew up, not really like that ah. Very different one. Oh and also, every time i pass at the Alat-Alat Kebesaran DiRaja, always reminded me when there was once the Churchill. The Aquarium with lots of fish, lobster, seahorse and some other ocean species. That was where i first see all. And i do appreciate those kind of things. My father used to fish a lot, and he bought back the king crab. And many more. I guess we all have a different things when we grew up kan. My father was so into nature. So i appreciate the beauty of nature that we have in Brunei and wherever i go and teliat.

So yesterday punya story lain lah. I read a lot and did a lot of research for work. Just to be prepared. I'm off a couple of days. And soon be on-air. I heard a fren told me that a fren passed away taking his own life. Bless his soul. It's sad when we take matters in our own had. Especially our life. The beginning of life starts there, not here. And it's just sad to hear that from a fren.

This reminds me when i was younger, i was in my late teens. I got a fren who was 16 at that time. And she was depressed about her life. About her boyfriend and his family. She got pregnant and the boyfriend didn't marry her. Instead he marry the other girlfriend of his first, and then only he marry her when she was close due. I look after her during her pregnancy, i told her i will take care of her baby. I even give name for her baby girl. She's probably in her teens now. I wish i know where she is now and to have a chance to see her one more time.

So anyhew.. it was too much for her. Her husband was on drugs, and just too much... way too much.... She gave me her baby, and i only have her for a while. Then her husband took that baby away from me and ran off. Ever since, i never see her anymore. Its a girl. I would love to tell you her name here, but for safety reason i rather not. So anyway, my girlfriend ani commit suicide. She drank racun rumput. it took her less than 24 hours to take her life and just gone!!! She told us that she was scared, she saw a black creature in her dream taking her away. She was at RIPAS hospital. The next morning, she was gone. She cried that she really regret doing it, and that she was really scared that something evil that she herself could not explain is waiting for her. Can you imagine?

As i go through life, this was a lesson for me too. Always, remember the love ones you have, who love you, and Allah loves you and given you a test that Allah knows that you will for sure go through it with his blessing. And to remaja out there, no matter how cool, how bad you think you are, just remember that Allah loves you more that anyone in this world and that no matter what you do, please jangan tinggal kan Solat.

That the story in Brunei. A fren commit a suicide. But when i was studying abroad in USA in one of the High School, i saw with my own eyes a guy was shot in the cafeteria of our school. How sad was that? Too many and too much to tell you if i want to. But well, everyone have a different stories and experience that no one can buy. And through that, its all about life kan.

Oh.. still reading The Historian, the part i read is getting interesting. Spooky and chilling.. nanti lagi ceta tu. Oh i paid my car yesterday, and my boss call me from the office re. something (ha.a.. i let you be curious on that one ah..) then home.

Tomorrow i am off to Miri to see my dentist. Yeah, dental appointment so far away. Its going to be fun. Good nyte.


Anonymous said...

i am sad to read your story bout yor pregnant friend and then bout her baby again, oh it just crushed my heart and cant really imagine how u felt during the time the poor baby was taken from you....
I gotta agree what you have said here . Lesson learnt.

Anonymous said...

wow!cant imagine being in ur situation.thanks alot for sharing it was a good lesson to learn. it really meant alot to us teenagers.=) life moves on as always..