Piala Girlfriend

When you got Piala, what you do with it? Friends ask me if I am dating. Well.. Dating? Not quite sure how I want to put this. Actually I am seeing someone.. Wait.. I feel like I am seeing someone but I guess not quite because its not exactly.

I could say someone who will be there for me but not actually with me. Maybe... A very generous one, I must say, a bit of love, but do I really need only that? Maybe... I know you would say, what else do I need? Ha.ha… you should be in my shoes to be me then you know. No hard feelings…

I am only a trophy girlfriend; ha.a.. just well that’s how I felt... Special but not exactly.. or maybe.. Ha..ha... And being a trophy girlfriend, you know what I mean. Wonder how and where I got those words from? Well? I got to hear it somewhere.. maybe from friends that often used that term for themselves. (eh, macam banyak ah bunyinya)..

Sound so familiar, and Sounds cute, so apa lagi, jadi tia.. Didn’t like it at first, but why not. At least di kasihi jua more than others yang menumpang-numpang kasih nya. But its okay. I understand. Probably the status. Jangan mare ya...Cepat tua toh.

So friends says that they saw me all alone all the time. But yet they all know who I am seeing. But again, the person I am seeing now, I don’t know if I am seeing or perhaps just someone close to me, not a bestfriend for sure, very invisible, when available saja.

So piala? Where else you put your “piala”? In a very special place or just anywhere. Its either in your deep heart or just sekeliling the heart.. You can have more than one piala, so bersepah lah where you put em.

For me to really feel the love, in everything, nop I haven’t found one yet. I don't think ever jua. We cannot have it all even if we want to.. kan...kan... I don’t know ever ada kah inda. But I am not giving up yet. Theres more to come. “you have to put your life in a challenging path, which is acutaly living” to find the true color of life.

People going materialistic nowdays. Who won’t. I agree. Everybody want to have a cut of your cake!! Its trendy, I am open-minded, I will not larang or control it because I don’t have control over things that happen. Things just happen, so what. Some said I need to show that I care, show my love by controlling. Well, as I said, I m far from that, because when you are an adults, you will know what exactly you want. Its up to you with your own PENDIRIAN. Your choice.

If you want everything, you will have it all but you will never have THE ONE. If you have THE ONE, you will not have everything. BUT THE ONE will be yours and shared all the love till the end. Some would say, what for love? Yang greedy would go for everything otherwise rugi toh... Everything are all chapters in your life. I am one chapter in your life too. But you know, I still believe there got to be loved too to have a better life.

Anyhew, besides all that, Love is not all about money only. Money is just a bonus. It’s everything only di dunia saja. But how long. Pangkat? Darjat? Not a guaranteed for you to be successful in a relationship. People who see from luar, wah.. Wonderful eh to have someone so powerful as a hubby or a wife. But are they all 100% happy? Happy with money, pangkat, but we are all not perfect. Got jua yang di sacrifice. You got to be lying if you said you are happy. Must ada packagenya.

We are all human. I am human. Well up to individual to menilai diri sendiri. Someone gives me one zikir for amalan setiap hari. I amalkan because keberkatannya di dalam sejarahnya yang sememangnya cukup baik sebagai amalan seharian kerana ia dapat menghindarkan seseorang dari di timpa sebarang kesusahan.

You are lucky if you finish your ugama school. You should be thankful to your parents to push you hard to finish up your ugama school. I frankly say, I know the basic. Kewajiban hari hari di dunia. I learned from reading books. Malu pulang rasa nya like buta huruf dalam pengajian ugama. But I am not malu that malu because i am always learning about it. I am not an expert like you but always open to learning getting new ilmu by listening Khutbah and ceramah cermah dalam radio and a lot more. Which is good.

Oh mau jua i want to share this. Just as pengajaran. I once was asked by these two people. A male and female who worked i cannot say here, but really i think an expert dalam ugama. I think lah. Silap, cara pertanyaan atu seolah olah memperli. Very young, not quite jua lah.. may be working alum jua berapa lama but the way cara dorang bertanya seolah olah i am not a muslim. Sudah satu kesalahan i think.

Asking me pandangan me about my religion? It took me a while to tell her just like that from my mouth. Because its not something to just simple to say. I have my own faith in my own way. You might your own way too. Its not easy to write about it, it comes from your heart. I don't know siapa yang suka menunjuk nunjuk with perbuatan nya untuk melakukan ibadat. I guess again up to individual kali jua lah.

Then she gigle sinis, saying maybe ugama ani menyusah kan me kah? or maybe puasa and sembahyang menyusahkan me kah? :ike she wanted to laugh, but she smile jua. I said and asked her, why she said that, and she said ada orang kitani yang macamatu. I said you gotta be joking. I couldn't believe it.

How can you feel that way? I told them never terlintas anything like that in my heart even tah usulku like this. I asked someone yang lebih arif about that, and he said who are they to ask me like that? A few told me, why didn't i ask them back what they ask me? Sometimes when we are so an expert in those line, please lah hati nurani pun biar bersih. Even dalam Khutbah, kitani ani bebanar banar ia ia mengerjakan apa yang di wajibkan, tapi ada sesetengahnya mempunyai penyakit nurani. Atu yang bahaya. Oh well.. semoga tani sentiasa di beri rahmat setiap detik masa agar tidak terpesong dari menjadi nya sebegitu... Amiin..

Its better to be honest than to be a pretender. Worst lagi when you only keep it to yourself, and so sombong about kepandaian you yet you know you have the knowledge of ugama to share to others. That’s how it is. You got pahala from it.

You don’t have to show to everybody that you pandai berabiz and sombong about it, or proud about it. You don’t have to publish it to tell everybody that you do this, you do that. Only di mata dunia saja orang proud of you, say this and say that… Oh well, I surely hope you know where I am getting to… but remember we only live sementara, there are other life. And that be the final. And from there, its all about you only. There will not be picture taken, no clapping hands, no friends, not even a soul can help you.

So jangan lah memandang orang terlalu rendah, kerana you sendiri pun manusia and jua sama nya. Ganya you diberikan kelebihan di dunia ani and other not so lucky like you. Ther’s always reasons kenapa you diberkan kelebihan di dunia ani, its all just a test.. I say that to me too… i warn myself too not to be over the line... It’s a thin fine line you go through everybody, you do whatever you want, I am not here to give ceramah, tapi saja kitani remind each other for something better. Barangkali ada reason jua why I blogg.. Ever wonder?


Keberkatan dari amalan zikir.


Dalam satu riwayat mengisahkan pada suatu hari Rasulullah saw dikejut oleh Jibrail supaya baginda mengurus jenazah seorang lelaki di sebuah kampong tidak jauh dari rumahnya.

Akhirnya tanpa banyak soal nabi pergi ke rumah si mati dengan mengajak dua orang sahabatnya iaitu Sayidina Omar dan Abu Bakar.

Setelah urusan mandi dan mengkapan di sempurnakan, jenazah itu dibawa ke kubur. Ketika dalam perjalanan mejuju ke kubur, kedua-dua sahabatnya begitu hairan apabila melihat kelakuan ganjil Rasulullah saw yang berjalan secara berjinjing.

Malah ketika jenazah lelaki di masuk ke liang lahad dan hendak di timbus dengan tanah sekali lagi, baginda tersenyum sambil memandang kepada jenazah itu. Sikap baginda menimbulkan tanda tanya di kalangan dua sahabatnya.

Lalu Omar pun bertanya Rasulullah saw, maka baginda pun bercerita; “aku berjalan berjinjing ketika perjalanan ke kubur itu tadi kerana beratus ribu malaikat turut mengiringi jenazah itu.” “Manakala aku tersenyum ketika jenazah dimasukkan ke liang lahad kerana aku melihat ramai bidadari yang berebut rebut memberi minum air dari telaga kausar di syurga, sesiapa yang meminumnya tidak akan dahaga selama-lamanya.”

Apa kah kelebihan amalan yang dilakukan oleh si mati? Baginda mengajak sahabatnya kerumah lelaki berkenaan untuk bertanya isterinya mengenai amalan yang dilakukan semasa hidupnya.

Isterinya memberitahu Rasulullah saw bahawa suaminya ada lah seorang yang fasik, mengingkari perintah Allah SWT, kecuali setiap kali tiba bulan Rejab dia akan menyendiri sambil mengerjakan amalan wajib dan sunat termasuk bersembahyang, berpuasa dan berzikir dengan selawat …..

Oh well, that’s a long one ah. Anyway, good nyte. I am going to sleep now. I love the part ratusan ribu malaikat mengiringi jenazah. Menitik air mata me olehnya. I rather have that than ratusan orang mengangkat jenazah me…. oh well…

Ps. How I got to write this long? Just in my head.