Salam and Good Morning. ......... I didn't expect raya would be today but Alhamdulillah.. Since semalam.. i just don't know how to tell you how i felt. Tersentak seketika terkenang nasib my grandma. Rindu dengan raya yang sebelum ani. Pedih hati ditahan.. I text my mom and told her how i felt. Mengalir air mata .. mengalir air mata.. the annoncement of Hari Raya, membuat me terpaku, tidak terkata. Tunduk.. menangis. Entah semana-mana menangis. Terbayang roh roh balik, terbayang.. membuat kan me menangis. Lain rasa nya. Just lain..
Rindu kan raya yang dulu.. tapi dulu.. Teringat, kalau nenek sihat, tentu malam raya ia sibok. Walaupun dalam keaadaan yang mengalih, mengamas rumah, membuat makanan untuk raya, masak lontong.. bising lah.. ada ada saja kan di dangar.. Tapi now.. Ya Allah, mudahan mudahan nini cepat semboh. Mendengar Takbir.. ... i just don't know what to say.
Visited her last night, entah.. i told her what time it is. I told her esok raya. Everybody were there last night too. I can see this year is not going to be as meriah our raya. Its a good year, but its just not the right time for us.. I felt kesedihan my mom and her sisters and her brother. It's easy for them. Though they try to hide the pain.. I can't stand it. I looked at nini's eyes last night, i berdoa semoga Allah melindungi nini, i berdoa semoga nini kembali sihat pulih seperti sebelum nya. Mengalir air mata nini.. tarus ku pusing kepala ku away from her.. i went to the corner of her bed, and stayed for few minutes to control myself from crying. It's not easy.
I can't imagine how my mom and her siblings felt ... Ya Allah. It's already heavy to see.. ..
Anyway, I would like to wish you Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin. Semoga kita termasok dalam golongan orang orang yang beriman, bertaqwa dan di beri rahmat serta syafaat dan berkat. Semoga kita, ahli keluarga kita, kawan kawan kita dan sesiapa saja yang kita baru kenali dan belum kenali, yang akan dikenali.. di dalam lindungan Allah.. Amin..Amin..Amin.
Psst.. kalau kitani dalam keaadan yang bersedih pun, ceriakan jua hari tani dengan orang orang yang ada berada di sekeliling kitani jua yang menyanyangi kitani.. Balance kan our life. Sentiasa meningati sesama kitani.. Jaga diri. Salam.
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