ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
poking me in the ribs and cackling,
telling me, 'You're next.'
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
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