Saturday, December 27, 2008


Steve Martin

Swimming facing the hotel and wondering di kepala ku is someone staying arah the Pen House.. ha.ha.. that makes me laugh that night walking back from the seminar. From the stadium tennis to the sultan hotel. Distance didn’t matter that time eh. Amazing non stop power of seminar just talk all the way…

Steve Martin tah story nya jua toh. In the stadium, clapping and happy and bah.. suddenly pauce.. eh like I know bah .. very familiar.. ha.ha… was just a few seats away Steve Martin tah cerita nya. I said.. well whipers loudly rah my fren next to me, eh look familiar lah tu on the screen ah. Em.. still blurred. Yes at the pool.. those two guys swimming away.. well in the same pool, and there walking Steve Martin with a beautiful woman besides him… mmmmmmmm

I said to my fren.. hey fren in a loud whisper ha.ha.ha… ia jua tu “Steve Martin”.. arggghhhh lah napa tani inda tau atu ah… hahahahahahhhahhh gone sudden shock and sudden silent though bising berabiz bah in the indoor stadium. my head pun rasa gone eh. Inda kedengaran was in the air for a few saat.. then you can hear back the claps the whistles the everything. Kembali pulih nya orang.

So anyway, I like steve martin with his funny character when he belakun. But if ada yang serious,em… nda suitable usulnya. Because he is funny. That’s all. Anyway, its not Steve Martin. The couple was someone who used to have a small dream, then have a big dream and now.. wah I guess earning.. phew.. jagan tah cakap eh. That is what its meant to be SuccessFul… Wonderful.

I woke up this morning, exhausted eh. Lain jua tired nya, kan pengsan. Bila I open my eyes this morning, I am thinking. Just thinking about something. I can see something good coming my way, Insyallah Allah mengabulkan doa doa kami kemarin, semalam dan hari ani…. Amin..Amin..Amin…

Satu cerita that I saw semalan, how a father’s love arah anaknya, wah.. I cried eh. I know I am easily menangis, but this is big time. You see it 100% sure your tears menitik tu. Nda caya, cuba tia. Otherwise, hati you so keras toh eh… inda dari mata, maybe dari hati you yang menangis. I just got to let it out. I miss my baby Luqman eh. When I saw what I saw last night, Luqman in my head 101% ani bah. I was looking at his future in 5 to 6 years. He will be a teenager soon. And wah.. he be choosing which school he wants to go to proceed his education. I smile… I am doing this for him. And before I sleep last night jua, I say to myself, how I wish one day we all be reunited… no worries with the economic problems…. I pray to Allah to give me a chance in my life to have a great family together and reunited… Amin..Amin.. Amin…

I’ve never have a great family life when I grow up. I went through the hutan belantara with all negative hearing about me. People change… its okay. I am not mad any anyone who said I am bad. I was bad once a upon a time. I wasn’t all an angel. I admitted that but I am totally different now. Well that’s how I felt. I forgive anyone who have hurt me and who have said bad things about me during the past or even present. I forgive you.. Just a bit about me, I only felf the love of mom and dad until I was 7 years old. Can you imagine what happen after that?...

After that my history in life the journey of my life begins. And that to remember only me and that I want to change me to have a great life. With my family. My failure in life is my strength to go through the door to success. That is how I see it now. Last time all my my life I make excuses.. excuses lots of excuses. I read a book THE MAGIC OF THINKING BIG.. that changed me. The way I think. Its not easy to change, it kills me because I am so used to thinking what I was thinking. Blaming others the reasons I become like this. Not them.. but its me. And I didn’t blame myself too.. because that was the way i live and were told to think. Not anyone’s fault and not me… but I managed to kill the negative thinking I have. Hard not easy. Hard. I have to say..

Paling hurt sekali, that I didn’t forgive my dad for not allowing me to do something I wanted to do last time. What is it? Well only for me to know. Then he was no negative about me. I don’t blame him. He was separated from mom what.. since I was 7 and broken eh. So then I never understood why? Rupanya in life a lot happen. So now I know. I forgive him and whoever hurt hurt me. Not physically but mentally too. We are all humans. And we all go through it in life too. You may be having a perfect life, but be ready with the first aid in life, because along the way, you will go through the rough and toughest road, impossible it seems, but you will go through it. Though you fell once in a while you just prefer to die, ha.ha.. that would be the worst solution to choose, just go along with it and just ready for whatever comes, Insyallah with doa you will pass through it.

Even non muslim berdoa bah and dimakbulkan jua, apatah lagi kitani.. If you want something, of course equip yourself with your goal, your DREAM and then with doa to makes your dream comes true. 13/12/08. 8am/8.56am

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